During my visits to parishes, parents of teenagers often ask the same question— “Bishop, should we require our teenagers to attend Sunday Mass?”

My answer is simple and emphatic. YES!!!

Let me explain. My approach to the parents’ question is drawn from conversations with my own siblings, all of whom have raised teenagers.

Parents want what is best for their children— good nutrition, regular medical and dental checkups, a solid education, adequate rest, the company of good friends.

My sister, Mary Ann, and her husband Walt had a simple rule in their household. Participation in Sunday Eucharist is an essential element of their family life. Mary Ann would say, “The day we decide that attendance at high school or going in for the six-month dental checkup is optional is the day we change our household rule for Sunday Liturgy. It is that important to us.”

Mary Ann’s approach was uncomplicated, understandable and non-negotiable.

From their earliest days, my nieces and nephews got the message from their folks that “we want the very best for your mind, your body and your soul.”

My observation is that the opposite also would have been true.

Making Mass optional gives the not-so-subtle message that “it’s not all that important to us. Soul care is somewhere down the list, below the annual checkups and required high school attendance. Take it or leave it; you decide.”

Parents may counter, “But if I require my child to attend Mass while he or she lives under my roof, won’t they simply stop going once they are off to college or the workplace?” Maybe, but I doubt it.

The Church describes the goal of Sunday celebration in beautiful and loving language.

Wrote Pope Benedict, “We need this Bread to face the fatigue and weariness of our journey. Sunday, the Lord’s Day, is a favorable opportunity to draw strength from Him, the Lord of Life.”

Pope Benedict wrote also, “The Sunday precept is not, therefore, an externally imposed duty, a burden on our shoulders. On the contrary, taking part in the Celebration … is a need for Christians, it is a joy; Christians can thus replenish the energy they need to continue on the journey we must make every week.” (p. 13, “Heart of the Christian Life”)

The late Pope John Paul II described the Liturgy as “the most priceless gift of the Church.”

Jesus is present when we gather in His name. He comes to us in the gift of Eucharist, which is the source and summit of the life of the Church. It is unimaginable that parents would not want to have communion with the Divine by inviting their children to feast on the Bread from Heaven.

As we help parents approach this question, I offer four simple and practical suggestions. First, make all of Sunday holy. Let Sunday be a family time for prayer, re-creation, a day for quality time with each other, with a family meal becoming a highlight of the day and Eucharist the culmination.

Second, let parents and pastors invite young adults into “full, active, conscious participation” in the Liturgy. Open up roles of responsibility for young adults through ministries of lector, altar server, greeter, choir member, usher, and for those already confirmed, Eucharistic ministry.

Third, Catholic schools, parish religious education programs and youth groups need to flow from and point to parish celebration of the Eucharist. This vital relationship reinforces the import and the impact of the Eucharist as source and summit of the life of the Church.

Fourth, make meaningful connections between Liturgy and life, understanding the unbreakable bond between worship and service, prayer and compassion, love of God and love of neighbor. In short, let parents and pastors teach our young people that Mass and mission are intertwined, and find opportunities for them to serve others in need.

Fifth, teach by example. Dr. Albert Schweitzer once opined that “example is not the main thing in influencing others— it’s the only thing.” Parents need to hold themselves to a high standard in order to teach their children well. Don’t let Sunday degenerate into a day for sleeping in, for letting hunting or fishing or other recreation take precedence over participation in Liturgy. The message given to the young, intentionally or otherwise, is this: “Lord, we have many priorities in our lives and You are not among them.”

For Christians, Sunday Eucharist, in the words of the Holy Father, is “not a commandment but an inner necessity…

Eucharist is a life-giving relationship that sustains us and gives direction and content to our lives.” Eucharist is our communion with Jesus Christ, the Bread of Life.

No question about it. Parents want what is best for their sons and daughters. Let soul care top the list.


Published in The Montana Catholic Online, Volume 26, No. 6, June 18, 2010.