By Rick and Kathy DeMarinis
Special to The Montana Catholic

As we approach the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, we are reminded of a special event we attended a few years ago on the eve of this anniversary. We were invited to an “Entrustment Ceremony” for a very special young lady. It was sponsored by Catholic Social Services of Montana.

CSSM has an amazing network of counselors who help teens and women facing unplanned pregnancies, and they offer healing and support to women who are grieving the loss of a child through abortion. They also counsel couples who are interested in building their families through adoption. Their pregnancy counseling services are free, confidential and available to all women of any age, faith or economic background. They will travel to any city within the state to help women plan for their future and their baby’s future, and they will support them in their decision to parent or develop an adoption plan.

Did you know they have one of the best open adoption programs in the country? Through open adoption a birth mother and birth father choose the adoptive couple or family for their baby. After the adoption is finalized, the birth family can continue to play a very important and loving role in the child’s life.

When birth parents choose open adoption, an Entrustment Ceremony is held after the baby is born. At the Entrustment Ceremony we attended, the birth mother, baby and adoptive couple came together with family and friends to celebrate the gift of this new life and new beginnings. Beautiful prayers were read and the birth mother and adoptive couple shared their promises to each other and this child. The birth mother lit a candle symbolizing her love and the life she gave to this baby, the adoptive couple lit a candle to show their love for each other and the baby, and together they lit a third candle symbolizing how they are forever united in the life and love of this child.

Then the most incredible thing happened. The birth mother placed this precious baby, her gift, into the arms of the adoptive couple. It was an amazing experience to witness such tremendous sacrifice, selfless love and courage on the part of this young woman. To see an adoptive couple so humbled by this extraordinary gift, the joy they felt, and how this joy was tempered by the love and compassion they felt for this birth mother, was equally amazing and moving.

As we were driving home after the Entrustment Ceremony we saw people holding signs celebrating Roe vs. Wade and abortion rights. That moment and the events of the evening left a lasting impression on our hearts and minds. It occurred to us that young women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy may not always be aware of the pro-life options available to them. Frightened by their situation and knowing they are not ready to be a parent, they may think that abortion is their only option. As a result, they may make a decision that seems easy or right at the time, but later truly regret.

This amazing birth mother made a very courageous decision to choose life. At 18 and unmarried, her decision certainly wasn’t an easy one, and it didn’t come without pain or sacrifice. Yet, she was able to choose life for her baby because she was informed, and she had a greater vision for her life and the life of her unborn child.

This young woman was blessed to have the support she needed at a crucial time in her life. We asked ourselves, how often do we as a parent, family, friend or community unknowingly influence a woman’s decision to abort her baby? Perhaps she fears we will judge or alienate her instead of help her; maybe we don’t realize what a big difference our kindness and support can make; maybe no one has mentioned the pro-life options she has and where she can find support; and, she may not be told about the short and long-term consequences of abortion, physically, emotionally or spiritually.

To any teen or woman facing an unplanned pregnancy, please know that help and great counseling are available to you through CSSM, just for the asking. You have a wonderful opportunity to make a loving choice for you and your baby that will bring you continued joy. We really applaud CSSM for the many ways they support the women, birth families and adoptive couples throughout our state. Thank you for all you do!

Rick and Kathy DeMarinis belong to the Cathedral of St. Helena and have built their family through adoption. CSSM has offices in Missoula, Helena, Great Falls and Billings. They can be reached at 1-800-BABY-DUE.


Published in The Montana Catholic, Vol. 25, No. 1, January 23, 2009.