By James Winegart

Editor’s note: Student James Winegart is one of 21 people who visited Guatemala May 11-21 through the Carroll College program Headlights, which provides opportunities for Carroll students to learn about issues of poverty, injustice and human development. The group visited the diocesan mission. The following is excerpted from a blog entry Winegart wrote while in Guatemala. For others’ reflections on their experiences in Guatemala, visit http://carrollministry.wordpress.com.

So much has happened since I came to Guatemala, and there is so much that I wish to remember and to share with all of you. I don’t have eloquent thoughts. I just know that what I have seen must be shared and that it will remain with me forever, no matter what path God has placed before me.

I have seen things that I had only heard about, and much that I had never imagined to be true. Walking through jungle foliage and wandering through impoverished towns, I feel like I will wake up at any moment and see that this was all a dream.

But this is real. This sadness, sickness and garbage-filled life is the reality for many Guatemalans. I know that for most of us, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Sometimes, keeping that in mind is a struggle. It would be so easy to just distract ourselves from what is actually happening and from the people we meet. We can fall into the trap, as many of us fall into in our everyday lives.

Back in the United States, we drive by homeless people almost daily. We had this discussion last night, about how many times we pass people in need, and what we are going to do about that. Many of us realized that it is not OK for us to just turn away and pretend that they are not there. It is not right for us to make excuses for not helping them. But that is a reality for many of us. We may want to accept this, but it is what happens so often.

We cannot go back and change the past; we cannot do things over. The only thing that we can control at this point is what we decide to do with our future encounters with the poor and needy. Life throws us many different situations and we must do our best to live in the now.

Now is a time for us to DO. Now is not the time for despair and self-torment over our faults.

Look at Peter in the Gospels; he lacked the courage and faith to follow Christ when he desperately needed him. He made a mistake, he denied the savior three times, yet in the end, he knew he made a mistake and he did something about it. He did not dwell on the past. He admitted his fault and took action. He regained courage in the Lord and became an instrument of Christ. I believe that we all have a similar calling, and that is to be an instrument of Christ.

We all have different God-given talents and we have an obligation to use them for the betterment of those suffering. It should be hard for us to go to sleep at night knowing we passed up the poor on the street corner. It should bother us that it took a trip to Guatemala for our eyes to be opened to the destitute at home; every time we pass up the poor, we are passing up Christ. He is in every single person, every human being and when it comes down to it, the only thing that matters is how we loved those with whom we came in contact.

It is through loving God’s creations that he reveals himself to us. It is through love that we will find him, and how we can become close to him. If we cannot connect with the Lord, then all of our relationships with those around us will be lacking. If we can’t love, then we can’t have a relationship with him. Our relationship with Christ is and should be the center of our lives. Everything else stems from our closeness with him. If we can’t find him in those on the street corners and in the “bad” parts of town, then how do we expect to find him when he comes again. We all have things that we need to change in our lives, and what better time to change than in the present?

In Guatemala, I have thought more about life and God’s vocation for me. I think that is one reason I am here. I also want to share my experience with those of you who can’t see what I have seen. Much needs to be done for these people and it starts with telling their story.

I don’t think I have ever seen this much love and willingness to serve, and it truly is beautiful. I am thankful for this opportunity to be here and I hope that I can share even a little of what I have learned. Peace to all, and thanks for all the prayers and support.


Published in The Montana Catholic Online, Volume 26, No. 6, June 18, 2010.