By Father Eric Gilbaugh

May I make a confession? Of course, even priests must confess their faults as disciples, and I must confess that until the conclusion of the Year for Priests I was sorely lacking in a fundamental aspect of discipleship. You know how you can hear, and even believe something, but not be totally convinced of it in your heart? Well, that was me until this June, when I had the privilege of joining our Holy Father, tens of thousands of brother priests, and many laity and religious to conclude the special year that focused on the priesthood.

It was a warm evening that found me sitting in St. Peter’s piazza in Rome, watching the setting sun send rays of light streaming from behind the great church as those gathered awaited the beginning of the program that would include communal prayer, eucharistic adoration and the opportunity to hear Pope Benedict XVI share his reflections on the priesthood. Soon one of the cardinals rose to the stage and proclaimed, “We are here, as in a great Upper Room, to be renewed in our priesthood by the Holy Spirit!” We were reminded of St. John Vianney’s insight: “The priest is the love of the heart of Jesus.” I could feel myself being drawn in by these proclamations, but it wasn’t until our Holy Father appeared that the evening really began to make its mark for me.

One by one, priests from around the globe were invited to address questions to the pope, and their queries were certainly quite varied: How do we priests address this-or-that modern situation? How are we to deal with so many challenges to our task of evangelization? How do we engage a world that does not understand celibacy, especially after a year of scandal, disgrace and humiliation for priests because of the sins of a few? In essence, they were asking, “Holy Father, what advice can you give us to be better and more effective priests, that we may better serve God and his people?”

Although he took time to address the particulars of each priest’s question, the pope’s overall response was the same to every one: “Holiness is the answer.” In other words, be holy priests first, and all of the various challenges that you mention will be addressed through God’s providence. Be holy, and offer the world something that only a heart on fire for Jesus can. Be holy, and thus avoid the pitfalls of sin and hypocrisy that brought down the priesthoods of other men. Be holy, and you will do more for God and the salvation of souls than you could by any other approach.

The Holy Father did not give us, his beloved sons, advice of a merely practical or worldly nature, a secret plan or “method” that we had never heard of that would suddenly make our tasks easier or erase the problems that we face. Instead, he called us all, me most especially, to embrace anew something that we already had: the call to holiness that every disciple receives, but priests must live out in a most profound way as ministers of God.

And here comes my confession. Until my experience in Rome, I had thought of holiness mostly as an abstract concept. Something that must be striven for, yes, but probably something that was beyond my reach. I must admit that I was not deeply convinced that I must (or could) be holy. Until then, holiness seemed like a general theoretical goal that I would never achieve.

Afterward, however, I was a changed man. Walking back to my room through the dark streets of Rome, I kept saying to myself, “I must become holy to be a good priest! I cannot settle for less! There is no other way!” I resolved to digest the grace of that insight over the coming months— committing myself to greater devotion to prayer and more of it, and more time before the Blessed Sacrament. Believe me, I am far from reaching my goal. I fail, and fail daily, but I can now say in sincerity that the Year for Priests concluded with God giving me the grace to be convinced of my need for, and desire to strive for, holiness as a priest. Please, pray for me and all your priests, that we may be true to our sacred vocation and become holy men of God.


Father Eric Gilbaugh is the pastor at Holy Family Parish in Three Forks and Valley of Flowers Mission in Belgrade.


Published in The Montana Catholic Online, Volume 26, No. 9, September 17, 2010.