By Rosemary Miller

It is unsettling to hear some expectant parents say that they never could “give up the baby for adoption and would rather opt for an abortion.”

Making a decision when faced with an unexpected pregnancy takes lots of information, and time spent struggling with the enormity of the decision. Too often, the couple feels pressured into making an immediate decision. Weighing lots of information can lead a young couple to a decision that they will not regret. Because this can be such an emotional process, seeking counsel helps a couple gain perspective.

The Bible provides us with the guidelines: Children are a gift from God, the gift of life. We are entrusted with this great gift. The responsibility can be overwhelming and humbling. It definitely changes your life forever. Our current culture does not always affirm the decision to support life or to sustain life. The cultural influences are diverse and sometimes subtle, and as such, they deserve careful examination. Each of us carries a responsibility, as Catholics and Christians, to scrutinize how our culture treats the issue of life.

The young couples who come to Catholic Social Services of Montana for counsel often are fearful and confused. They feel not ready to be parents. It is not always an easy journey, particularly today, when more than one-third of all babies in this country are born to a single mother. Of these babies, nearly 98 percent are parented by the mother who gives them life. Just under 2 percent are entrusted, by the birth parent, to be parented through adoption.

Both parenting and adoption are explored as options during several visits with a social worker. Our mission is to support life, and therefore to support the parents as they strive to make the best decision for their baby and themselves.

Every baby deserves the very best beginning in life. Because nearly every expectant parent who comes to us feels not ready for parenthood, our goal to get them ready to be parents, whether that be as the everyday parent or as the birth parent. If the expectant parents are making an adoption plan, they have the opportunity to select the prospective adoptive parents. It is our intention that birth parents and adoptive parents have a lifelong relationship through the connection of their child. A child can never have too many people to love him and affirm his life.

So perhaps you are perplexed, too, as to why expectant parents would say that they would elect to choose a death through abortion instead of choosing life-giving adoption. I encourage you to attend the Affirming the Culture of Life Conference on Sept. 30-Oct. 1 at the Helena Civic Center, to explore how our culture needs healing. Online registration is available at www.MontanaLife.org.


Rosemary Miller is executive director of Catholic Social Services of Montana. Published in The Montana Catholic Online, Volume 27, No. 9, September 16, 2011.